MyPoopisGreen

I may harp on this idea a little too much, but really blame the patients. They are the ones who bring it up, over, and over, and over, and over…you get my point.

You are NOT going to DIE if you go ONE day without food!!!!!

Has not one of these people ever had a stomach bug before? Have they never just had a queasy feeling, rolling nausea stomach that invokes the very idea of eating as a bad thing? You can drink some water, you can eat some jello, but the thought of FOOD just doesn’t sit well with you. You didn’t die then! You won’t die now! And really, the clear liquid diet before a colonoscopy, not our thought of punishment, it’s more our thought of how to make things easier on you.

Let’s think on this for a second. Just one moment, take the thought process from what happens with solid foods AFTER you eat them. They need to be digested, the good things your body needs are absorbed OUT of the food, and the rest of it becomes waste. Waste that your body needs to get rid of. And how does your body do that? Think real hard - ah yes, even your poop might be green. Now, let’s the think of the process of getting prepped to have a colonoscopy. You need to get all that poop out - so I’m thinking, eating a big breakfast of eggs and bacon, then having that turkey club, or pastrami on rye for lunch and THEN doing your prep….hmmmm, not that comfortable for you!!! So really, the clear liquid diet, which once again, let’s go through that vocabulary lesson - CLEAR LIQUID - liquid, such as water that is transparent in nature and that isn’t red or purple in color. (Because the red or purple colored stuff has red dye that could resemble blood in your colon!!! I know, it’s Rocket Science.) And let’s also review that CLEAR LIQUID does not mean that you can eat chicken!!!! It’s not a punishment, it’s a fact of life. Liquids will come out easier. If YOU really want punishment, then have a ball, eat that bagel and cream cheese along with a sandwich and then do your prep. But don’t go calling me when you have continuous cramping, abdominal pain, and you are up ALL NIGHT doing your prep because there is just so much to come out. And then you might not even be cleaned out by your appointment time and you might have to do your procedure a different day and go through the whole thing again, or and I don’t want to say it, but I must… you might have to go ANOTHER day without eating something! That’s right, TWO DAYS without solid foods! I can see the horror on your face!!! Then you might actually die.

Does it really sound so bad now? I didn’t think so. Suck it up! Drink your fluids, have a good time, do your prep and get it all over with. I don’t want to punish you. I don’t even know you! So do me the same favor and don’t ask if a clear liquid diet is really necessary.

Take care all.

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